Paid !

The God of my understanding decreed by surprise that last night should be payday and not Monday morning. Last night was Friday. What a stunning surprise! Today at noon I shifted into my shopping frenzy mode. Since my budget is a stretcher for a sick economy, I decided to feed at the Linden Discount Market which is a dollar and produce store run by a couple outlanders I can’t identify and a girl named Hegira (journey) whom I can. I think she is Iranian of Mexican descent. Or Mexican of….well…. She talks nice to me and teaches me Spanish words. I frenzied thusly:

-Six bars of perfumed soap (a buck) made in Thailand for a firm in the United Arab Emirates. Which means it’s likely not to contain pork fat.

- A four ounce bottle of Zmygz aftershave which is made in China by Pujiang Onlyou Cosmetics Co., Ltd. And smells like a cross between Aqua Velva and a tired Hongsan steel mill at five o’clock on a Friday afternoon. With a little imagination it could be a cousin of Fahrenheit 451. This company also makes Vigour for men.

- two peach scented candles from Betty Crocker USA

- a jar of Five Spice powder for Chinese cooking this winter

- various trash bags (droll but invaluable)

- a bottle of Memphis Master Barbeque sauce which I know I can fix with spices if it turns out to be nasty.

- two boxed Thai Kitchen dinners of noodles vegetables and peanut sauce which I highly recommend to anybody, I have eaten them before. You can also get them at Kroger’s for more money.

- a winning two dollar lottery ticket.

- Sharp (brand) wristwatch from the scratch and dent department, but it looks and works fine, guys!

I imbibed later at my favorite four-star Chickenaria with a high tea of 7 boneless wings (chicken breast chunks but don’t tell anybody), slaw and sweet tea. Now I am sitting here smelling like a steel foundry and making plans to go out tomorrow to buy REAL groceries and pay REAL bills.

Hell! I know I’m poor guys! But I gave up long ago lusting for everything that everybody else owned and just being grateful for what I’ve got. It was one hell of a shopping spree for about twenty dollars and I’ll do it again next month. Ta!

Depraved

I like to mess with bill collectors. I never had the opportunity to do that before until this economic mess came up. I owed some small money on three medical bills. When the medical conflicts with the grocery in my budget, the grocery wins because I like to eat. I delayed paying the medical until they were just on the edge of Way Overdue. By that time a couple of the medicals had turned the accounts over to a collection agency. And by this time, a week later, I have paid the bills and have my cancelled checks. So when I get a notice in the mail from one of those (ragpickers) bill collectors, I made up a little form to send back. It goes like this:

“The bill was paid in full (yes/no) on (date)

I have my cancelled check (yes/no)

If I answered Yes to both items, you need to get in touch with your client. I can see now why minimal intelligence is required for your job position. If you want to try making it in a real job, try McDonalds.”

If you don’t like smoking don’t read this next section.

The tobacco companies aren’t stupid. Now that the price of RYO cigarette tobacco has gone up to almost $40 for a 14 oz. bag, several of the companies are making pipe tobacco in a thin ribbon cut that also happens to work really well in cigarette machines. It costs about $15 a pound and is immeasurably better than much of the RYO. Lightly flavored and cheap. I’m thinking of abandoning my ready mades (which I can still afford) in favor of some of the new pipe tobacco even though it’s more inconvenient to roll the equivalent of a pack for 15 minutes a day. I particularly recommend KENTUCKY SELECT FULL FLAVOR which is flue cured Burley with a tiny dab of chocolate and fig flavoring. It’s made by an outfit in North Carolina. Now put that in your Funk & Wagnall’s and smoke it!

Supper is over, the dishes are done, I am showered and shaved and I think I am going to plunk my tutu down in front of the TV for a bit. Ta!

Big Doings in the Fair City

...or Fair Doings in the Big City. Take your pick. This past week I have:

- had abdominal cramps for a day and a night because I ate some too-old refried beans out of my own fridge. This was not nice and I will heat them with a blowtorch next time.


- broke up with a girlfriend. I know you're all ready for the juicy details but you have to talk to me in person to find them out.
- been babysitting a hedgehog named Codger who snarls when I feed him.
- been sleeping normally and not all day. This has been very good for chores and appointments.
- have seemed generally peaceful in and out of the rain.

Why I mistrust organized Bishops (from ABC News Australia):

"Catholic Archbishop of Melbourne Denis Hart has been accused of saying to a sexual assault victim: "Go to hell, bitch". The Age newspaper has obtained court transcripts which show the outburst happened after the woman knocked on the Archbishop's door at 1:20am in March 2004"

We had a spectacular accident on North Main Street yesterday near where I used to live. Possibly one driver had a medical problem and jammed his foot down on the accelerator. Possibly another driver got road rage thinking the first one was doing some oneupmanship and also floored it. They both hit solid things (10 blocks down after hitting 12 other cars on the way) at Main and Forest, driver #2's car blew up after his full size Cadillac was reduced to the size of a motorcycle and he blew up with it. The other driver shuffled off this mortal coil shortly after in the hospital and 10 other people were removed by ambulances. What actually got this going may never be solved but it made some great pictures.

Now I am going to have some cheerios for supper so Ta! to all of you good and mellow citizens!

Why Wake Up when you can Sleep?

Earlier when I was eating my mangos and chutney I kept hearing this buzzing and figured it was a fly or two caught in the toaster. But it started again later and I had to check, to find that it was my two-dollar phone that I got the other day from the thrift shop. On Low it doesn't make any sound and on High it rings but I had it on medium and it just kind of vibrated. I think I'll sit a water glass next to it so the vibration is a little louder in case I'm in the other room.

In this episode you just get me. I have been absent in more ways than one the past few weeks and here is how I am today. Back in April? May? when I discovered I was having depression - courtesy of others - and checked with the doc, she started by putting me on Paxil CR (time release) 30mg. And I wound up sleeping most of my life away. Then we went down to 20 mg and I slept half my life away. Then we went down to 15 mg and I slept more than usual. Than I talked to my pharmacist and found that 1/3 of his clients had the sleep problem with the CR version specifically. Back to the Doc and on to 20mg Regular, not time release. Not quite enough. So, to 30 mg Regular and it appears (knock on wood and say a prayer...) that it may be just right.

Trouble is that for each change of dosage it takes about a week and a half or two weeks for it to kick in so I can see what I've got. During that time I had no depression but I slept so much that I kind of shied away from doing some regular things like writing emails. You see. And that's where I've been pretty much. Now I know what people are saying when they talk about the ups and downs of adjusting medication. I just never had that happen before.

Got in a little bit of a twit last week because I priced root canals and caps for a molar tooth and, with insurance, the best I could come up with was $1200. So I went to my old ghetto dentist and had him pull it for $50. (Tom Kernan at E 3rd and Irwin) Haven't regretted it for a minute. The big house up there is his office. They told me that if I saved the tooth (I did) and put it under my pillow I would get a red-headed bride with money. It has a permanent place of honor there. No wonder Obama's trying to reform those health care idiots!

Today, as we speak, I'm doing ok. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, no depression. Grateful for many things, most of them pretty everyday. Hitting my meetings. Working with my Rotten Kids who are all doing really well. Doing some projects at home for relaxation -- a couple new summer scrub shirts, one in a scarlet Chinese cotton pattern, another of loose-weave unbleached muslin... Dyeing some stuff.

Made a wristwatch band out of a $1 dog collar from the dollar store just because I could, and for the experience and skill. Mayhaps I'll make some to sell. I've done pretty good on pipe tampers and tobacco pouches. Have a boxful of pipes I'm ready to sell on eBay. Done a little cooking, new stuff, and all on the diet. Have been doing my special refried beans, scrambled eggs and chopped tomatoes for breakfast once in awhile. And still managing to lose weight. Blood sugar is ok.

I think my Higher Power is getting a good laugh out of all this. I ask "What am I supposed to be learning?" and something new happens. So that is how I am. This all may change tomorrow but today I am good. Today is fine! Ta!