Two Deep Breaths….

Better thank you! Things seem to be looking up. Or maybe my endorphins are working overtime. Yesterday and today have shaped up well; out both days, great meals, visits with good friends; cool evenings with a stack of library books to keep me company. Hell, everybody in the world seems to be depressed! Makes me feel better. Now that I am talking to people about it, I find that even family members go through this and it’s only a surprise because we haven’t talked about it before. Hope springs retro!

I got two lovely tobacco pipes from China in the mail yesterday. They are rosewood and short and chunky, the transaction (via eBay) was quick and shipping from Wuhan (Sister City to Yo-han) was fast. They cost me about $12 each including shipping. Once I got them in the house and inspected them I found that the tobacco chamber and air passages were drilled with sledge hammers in a tank factory that was having a slow day. I suspect it was an Indian tank factory and that the seller in China bought a giant lot from Ali Baba, probably the biggest Asian wholesale exporter.





I have redrilled them, tobacco chambers and air passages, and also sanded the inside of the tobacco chamber which was coated with lacquer. This is more of a health hazard than having large amounts of lead in your baby crib. Since I have the skills it didn’t take too long and was therapeutic because I like that kind of work. Also for $12 a person won’t find any very good pipe from any maker. So it was a bargain in the end and I may well buy another one someday just for the hell of it.

From the library I have gotten four CD’s of Techno-ethnic music which I have no idea what I am in for, but if any of them turn out great, I may put one here for you to listen to. Ta!

DUMPSTER

It’s the day after the night before and the sun is almost blazing. 70 outside and inviting enough to try to jump in a swimming pool. They are all concrete this early however. I have opened up the front and back windows in the house and fresh air is flowing though like water transiting Grand Coulee.



As I age gracefully I find that I have depression. I’ve known it for three or four years. Especially during the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I picture it and describe it to others as: a gray day in winter, feel like crying, no energy, would rather spend the day in bed. And I take a little 20mg pill of something to make it go away. I am now finding out, the past two years, that it’s getting more pervasive the older I get and wears a lot more than that gray winter face. I’ve been bedeviled by trying to discipline myself to control anger, overeating, low energy. And I’d figured out that I’ve had a lamentable lack of self discipline in those areas. Until two weeks ago when a good friend who deals with depression on an almost daily basis told me to flip it around and think outside the box. That possibly depression has crept into the neurons and brain cells like groundwater seeping through limestone strata. That maybe the cause ultimately is depression and not lack of discipline. I am discovering that when I am ‘down’ or at least not centered, I like to eat more because it feels good; I am often angry mostly at things that don’t usually even make me turn a hair, and that if I smoked less I would have more energy. Now that I am thinking in a new way, so much seems to make sense. I have been talking to people with depression, those who are actively trying to do something about it, and I’m finding that it has many different faces than the classic one I was familiar with. I am finding out that I have much to learn and that life may be better for that.

I have a plan: Talk to the Doctor about increasing the little pills or another medication; keep talking to people who are actively working to keep their equilibrium with depression; start attending a discussion group locally for people with depression, I may well learn many things; Don’t make consequential decisions or think heavily on the nature of things when I am ‘down.’ That way leads to train wrecks.

So, today is nice. I feel really good. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. I will do the stuff and see what happens. Ta!

COOKING WITH XAK

Here are a couple recipes that worked for me. I need to write about depression in here. But tonight is not the night because I am somewhere between medium and rare. Hence, free cooking advice:




Mild Pork Sausage.

Find 4 pounds of fairly lean fresh ground pork. Get it at a meat market, not a supermarket. Safer and fresher.

In a large mixing bowl combine ¼ tsp salt; ¼ tsp. black pepper; ½ tsp paprika; 1 egg; a good handful of capers; 3 or 4 tbsp. caper juice or 2 tbsp. vinegar; ½ tsp sugar or brown sugar. Squish everything well until the meat and the other ingredients are well combined. Package in 1 pound packages, leave in the refrigerator for a day or two for the flavors to mingle, then freeze. If you want to make it hotter or spicier, you know what to do. Always cook pork thoroughly!
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Slaw Dressing

Where I grew up, it’s called Slaw. Cole was an itinerant preacher who rapidly disappeared from sight.

Take ½ cup Mayo and combine with about 1/8 cup milk, a tsp. sugar, black pepper to taste. Mix well and combine with one head cabbage shredded finely, onions shredded finely, handful of chunks of bell pepper. Maybe a little Parmesan cheese if you’re so inclined. Mix the slaw and the dressing. If it’s not gloopy enough make more dressing. The longer it sits the better it is.

Ta!

A NEW BABY IN THE HOUSE

Not in my house, thank you! The Mother of my two godsons has had another. She is happy and squishy around the middle and I hug her gently. The kid’s pretty small, not bigger than a breadbox. His Dad suggested a couple names during Mom’s pregnancy that were so off-the-wall that she banished him to Iraq with the Air Force. The new kid’s name is Ethan Adam but it reminds me of furniture so I call him Adam Ant.

I got a picture of him hand delivered before he was born, one of those (watchu callit…) ergonomic ultra-something. I can never see baby in those damn things, just a lot of light and dark spots. I call it Storm Over the Atlantic and it is here for you to see.



I also got a picture of him after the fact (of his birth) looking like a little satisfied Winston Churchill and you can look at this one too.



I went to a Baby Party last weekend at this pizza place where everybody brought presents and themselves and sat crowded at tables that were too small for all of them. They passed the kid around and everybody to hold and they did. So did I. Told him “You’re going to be seeing more of me…” and he went “Goo-goo…” I hear that the second child in the house carefully places all his stand-up combat figures on the kid when he’s asleep. This is not jealousy, it is a desire to grow up and fight with people daily. One of these days soon I will go goo-goo the kid and goo-goo his Mom....




.....who is one of the great beauties of my existence. See if I don’t! Ta!