RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS...

We Are hot and bitchy in the Big City today. Critical of God, that stupid little shit with the scraggly beard who just got elected (maybe…) in Iran, and of Michael Jackson whose sobby memorials on TV and the Internet are blotting out my real heroine Farah Fawcett, and the rest of my favorite programs. I have just found out that the owner of my building is selling it sometime in the future. It is a long way away but I am initially consumed by anxiety. Probably it is just too flucking hot and my ass is sore, who knows?

My sister-in-law Cindy died. Tuesday. She had breast cancer. We waiting relatives went down the winding path with phone messages, “We’ve got it – we can reconstruct – oops! There’s a little spot here but we think we can get it, oops! Another spot here – we will try experimental treatment – She’s in Hospice and is not expected………..” Any of you who have had loved ones or friends die of cancer know this dance.

So I’m going to a funeral Monday which is one of those things you do not want to attend, is inconvenient, makes you feel bad, makes you want to go back up the highway where everything is presumably normal.

My friends here have noticed that I am not in my usual giddy, funny, calm, frame of mind. Not that I’m not wearing my anger and impatience like a flag. (I am the last to know…). Somebody came over the other night with a couple packs of cigarettes and a helping hand. Somebody else is financing my gas and meals and whatever else the day of the funeral. And will not take no for an answer. So I said yes. All kinds of people have sincerely offered anything, and they mean it. And one good friend convinced me a couple days ago that it is as blessed to receive as to give and it won’t kill my pride to let people help me.

So I am going to do that. I asked a friend to help install an air conditioner in the front of the house which may help the mood in quantum. I am taking it easy, hiding in the bedroom and the kitchen – which are air conditioned – and reading good books and drinking chocolate milk. Smoking my pipe. Simple things. I need to be simple right now. I can get complicated in a week or so when it’s time. But not so complicated that I forget that my friends are my real treasure, they always have been. And let them carry part of my burden for awhile. Ta!

BOTTORFF, Cynthia "Cindy" (Byrd) age 50 of Hamilton, OH; lost her battle with breast cancer on Tuesday June 23, 2009 at Hospice of Hamilton. Cindy was born in Dayton, OH on November 26, 1958 to Floyd and Nancy (Rickard) Byrd. She was a member of Post 71 AMVETS and Aerie 3680 of the Eagles of Fairfield. Cindy is survived by her husband of 16 years Nick Bottorff; 2 sons Randy Forman and Joshua Forman; one step son Sean Bottorff; 3 grandchildren; 3 sisters Lisa Byrd, Debbie Combs (Kevin), and Jennifer Green (Terry); and many nieces and nephews. Funeral services are Monday June 29, 2009 at 11am at Anderson Funeral Home 1357 E. 2nd St Franklin, OH with Rev. Max Fernandez officiating. Burial will be in Butler County Memorial Park. Visitation will be Sunday from 6-8pm at the funeral home. In lieu of flowers donations can be made to the Susan B. Kohmen Breast Cancer Research Foundation.