A CHRISTMAS TAIL

I was going to a ham dinner at the VFW….. well, anyway, somebody called and said "Come over Right Now, something's wrong with the cat!" So I did that and, hell, the cat was just coughing up a hairball. So there we were and the cat was the winner in the whole thing and his chones were not even in a twist. We mixed him some tuna juice with oily bozzo and he ate it because that’s like heroin for cats, they will kill for it. Oh, the lady and I accidentally did a little Boogie Woogie while the cat was coughing it's guts out. Well, it looked like dancing to me I came back home later and made a couple crispy chicken wraps which were good but probably not near as good as ham with all the trimmings. If the cat pulls that shit again I will bring it to the VFW and we can BBQ it with hot peppers and black olives. That is why I was late for ham and all the trimmings. Every cat has a silver lining!

Joe Arpaio is the sheriff of Maricopa County where Tucson is. He was just told by a federal judge to quit arresting Hispanic people and then asking if they were legal immigrants. He got so mad he sent his troops right out and did it again. And launched a criminal investigation of the people who told him no. Over the years Joe (America’s Toughest Sheriff) has fed prisoners bologna instead of roast beef, to save money; dressed inmates in (surplus?) pink underwear; housed them in big tents outside the jail in the Arizona heat with great ventilation and lots of Gatorade. Joe enjoys tremendous support from the population of the County. Except from the people he is investigating. Most prisoners apparently leave rehabilitated. Think bologna and pink pajamas. Personally I think it’s time to throw away most of the social workers and hire a lot more prison guards. Like the case of the Florida teens who poured isopropyl alcohol on a neighbor teen and burned him half to death, just because they thought he was a snitch. I know they’re somebody’s kids (ALL prisoners are somebody’s kid…) but do we want people like that running around after a pleasant and cozy stint in Juvenile Jail? I do – once they turn 50 and get out of prison and have had time to think about all that. I think Joe has the right idea and I am nominating him for Santa Claus! Ta!