- I can make new handkerchiefs out of jagged chunks of old t-shirts and nobody bitches about it much. If they complain I tell them to go buy me some new ones.
- I can have a really sloppy butter dish with smears of peanut butter or jelly on the butter. It pretty much tastes the same.
- I can smoke cigars in my home. Anywhere. Any cigars too!
- I don’t have to clean the bathroom except when company is coming.
- I can have really awful breath all day on days I don’t feel like brushing my teeth.
- Ditto for shaving
- There are knives and lighters laying all over the place
- Trashy women can visit because I don’t have to set an example for anybody.
- I can cook and eat things like kippered herring, liver and onions, Limburger
cheese, octopus, and nobody tells me it looks gross or smells bad.
Check back later for more.....
the breathe thing - Susan and I are like that. Twins don't care if you've had your shower or brushed your teeth yet. It's nice...
ReplyDelete